When suffering does not destroy you, even though you have been to the edge of the abyss, you know something that you cannot know in any other way. Someone else is sustaining you. You are indeed living by a life not your own. Or as I love to say, "Your life is not about you." It is henceforth, most truly, about God. And you are merely "free sample" of what God has always been doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr

October 26, 2006

Real Skin and Thrush

I can see real skin... on my feet. It's amazing. It's pink, it's smooth, you can actually see veins thru it ;). I think the BCX-1777 is working! As it turns out I'm on the highest dose, which is 300 mg. a day (that's 3-100mg pills each).

Today at my dr.'s appt., Dr. Vu took a light and checked my eyes and my mouth. I said I don't ever remember that being part of my assessment. When she checked my mouth, she did a double take and had me stick out my tongue, lift up my tongue, stick it out again, lift it again and proclaimed "You have thrush!" Wow that explains a lot of things. Like why good things taste so weird. And maybe when I did my mystery shop (if you want to know more about mystery shops go here http://www.volition.com/mysteryUSA2.html and don't EVER pay for a list of mystery shopping companies) anyway, when I did my mystery shop the other night, I said the coke was flat. Maybe it wasn't??? Drats, I hope I didn't make an incorrect accusation! I can't believe I have thrush. When I asked Dr. Vu why??? Why??? She said in her sweet voice "Honey, you are autoimmune compromised." Oh yea. I forget sometimes because I feel better. But I'm not contagious! But it's still good to remember I still need to take care of myself!

I'm still itching pretty bad, badly, awful, a lot... what ever the correct English is. But since I'm seeing such good results I'm just hanging in there. [If you read my report about getting hit by a car and that I was somehow not itching... well I realized that I had not taken my BCX-1777 from Sunday morning until Tuesday afternoon. So this drug does make me itch more.] But I'm going to keep hanging on because I'm seeing results even if its just by the tips of my fingers... since I still don't have any nails.

I do have these funky hard cuticle kinda of gross things where nails go, but they are short. Oh, I found out it takes THREE years for your nails to grow back. So do I count from when I started getting treatment? 17 months ago? Or when I started getting something like nails back? 10, 9, 8 months ago? I don't know. I just would like to have a nail so I could pick up my tongue depressor (my scratcher for those of you who are new here) when I drop it on the ground, which I tend to do a lot. I have to step on it and kinda get the end to pop up to pick it up or use my keys, or a credit card or anything to get under it. One day I dropped it and tried for about a minute to pick it up and finally the guy behind reached down and handed it to me. Thank you. Sometimes when I ask people to help me and I comment I don't have any fingernails, they will say "Oh I don't have any fingernails, either" and I'll say NO I don't have ANY fingernails. I mean I don't, ok?? Only I hope I say it nicer than that!

I was told this week I was a little short with one of my co-workers. I felt awful! I'm so glad she told me because, just because I don't feel good is no excuse to be short or rude. So for those of you who know me, please if I act impatient with you please tell me! God's grace is abundant and I need to tap into His grace. It's there for me!

Well that is all I have to report. I see Dr. Duvic on Monday and she will make the true proclamation about my progress!

Oh, how could I forget!! I wore my red high heel shoes today and NO BAND-AIDs!!! Now if I would just quit scratching my feet and not open up any more craters!

1 comment:

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