When suffering does not destroy you, even though you have been to the edge of the abyss, you know something that you cannot know in any other way. Someone else is sustaining you. You are indeed living by a life not your own. Or as I love to say, "Your life is not about you." It is henceforth, most truly, about God. And you are merely "free sample" of what God has always been doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr

October 12, 2006

Date Log 10/12/06: Validation & Day 10

I can now blame my dinginess on a real live medical reason! Chemofog/Chemobrain

Definition of Chemobrain

Chemobrain: Cognitive dysfunction associated with chemotherapy. It is thought that chemotherapy may cause memory loss, attention loss, and other problems that make it difficult for patients to think clearly. Also known as chemo-brain, chemo-fog, and chemotherapy-related cognitive dysfunction.

I think this counts even though my chemo comes in pill form!

Ways to know you are experiencing chemobrain:
1. You are in the shower shaving your legs. You finish shaving, but being blind, you reach down to make sure you didn't miss any spots. WOW you think my left leg really feels smooth and hair free. Then you feel your right leg and as your hand runs up your leg you feel hair. (yes, I shaved my left leg twice!)

2. You finally make it to the gym. You are feeling good. You've got your tunes going on your MP3 player. Your strutting, excited, you are going to WORK out. As you swing into the bathroom, you pause... you think "I thought the sinks were on the right side, not the left side...?" Then you realize you are in the men's locker room. You slink out... hoping no one noticed!

I think I can tell a difference in my skin. I'm still itching. (Thanks for all the great ideas!) Dr. Tapular said today that people on the BCX1777 do experience itching. But she thinks it's because its breaking up the T-cells. I forgot to ask if once someone is clear does the itching stop??? And they said this drug had no side affects! HELLO? Itching is one the main reasons why we are here! I think sometimes if I didn't itch I wouldn't even know I had cancer!!

I'm one in a ????


Ok, this is for all you mathematicians out there. Out 100,000 people only 0.40 have Pautrier-type abscesses (something found in my last biopsy), only 0.15 have Sezary Cell Syndrome and only 0.45 have MF. So if you, if you... if you what? Multiply this and divide by 100,000? Something like that... anyway, I'm one in whatever that number would be! I feel sooooooooo special!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We think you are special too!
Tall Dr. V and Dr. RT. (;