When suffering does not destroy you, even though you have been to the edge of the abyss, you know something that you cannot know in any other way. Someone else is sustaining you. You are indeed living by a life not your own. Or as I love to say, "Your life is not about you." It is henceforth, most truly, about God. And you are merely "free sample" of what God has always been doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr

July 21, 2005

Meeting w/Duvic - July: another "Weakly" update

My Weekly (or should I say weakly? update not because I feel weak but because I'm so bad about updating weekly).

So I finally saw Dr. Duvic last week. My appointment was scheduled for 2:15 pm and we got into a room about 4:15 pm and left at 5:15 pm! Of course I saw her resident first. A very beautiful oriental girl with perfect skin… I mean geez, what is that all about? Sort of a Beauty and the Beast theme going there! Dr. Duvic, flies in, looks me over, says “You’ve still got staff infection” She’s barking orders to the resident, who is responding with “I’ve done that…" in a snippy voice. Ya think they had a hard day? being 3 hours behind time? Ok, we’ll give them all the benefit of the doubt.Of course they repeated "You've got to quit scratching." Which I wish I had replied... "Yea, right that's like telling Richard Simmons to not be so PERKY!!"

My mom asked, Well did she have ANYTHING good to say? Well she did…she said my back looked good. (Viewings available between 1:30 pm and 3:30 pm Monday-Friday, by appt. only on the weekends) Well here are the good things I have to say!!!

1. I’m not as cold… in fact today I was actually HOT in my office. Thank you thank you thank you for praying for that. I can sit in a restaurant and not look like the Unabomber (for those of you who have NOT seen me in my hooded sweat jackets, that’s what that refers to)
2. I’m still losing weight… not a fun way, but I can stand to lose another 20 lbs.
3. My skin is beginning to look and feel like skin. Several comments of “I think I see pink, Renee” and “you're not purple anymore” and then my husband said after putting lotion on my back this morning “You skin feels like skin finally!”
4. And how is the itching you ask? Oh I still am! I’ve been reading a book of short pithy stories called “Stories from the Front Porch” and decided to try my hand in writing something like that about all the ways I find to scratch. I've posted it in a seperate post.

I’ve been very tired the last 2 days, but it may be because I’m now on 2 antibiotics. Got another bladder infection. That is what will kill you with this cancer… the infections. I’m trying very hard to keep infection at bay. But with all the scratching it’s hard. So pray God will protect me from myself. Once again, thank you all so much for all your love, prayers and support. You are my angels everywhere I go!

Oh yea, forgot to mention I've been griping because I've lost almost 30 lbs and I can't wear any little, cute, kicky sun dresses or skirts because I'm NOT that warm yet. Let me see... I think I read somewhere "Vanity is thy name, oh woman!"