While walking my new sweet dog, Madi, I walk by the First Baptist Church of Pflugerville. One day while walking by the church I felt like the Lord said, "Stop and have them pray for you!" Now I don't know how you know when God is speaking to you, but for me my heart pounds really fast. I continue walking, headed for the new Dazzle Coffee Kiosk in downtown Pflugerville, hoping it was only Madi tugging on the leash that was causing this rapid heart beat! On the way back, having forgotten my little "God" moment, I walked back the same way rather than taking an alternate route! Ha-ha! As I approached the church this time, tears pricked the back of my eyes... actually tears started rolling down my cheeks. But have you noticed how all novels always say "tears pricked the back of my/her/his eyes"? I just thought I'd continue to practice my writing skills! Ok, back to the story. So I'm not quite to the church yet, so I still have time. Time to bargain with God. "Ok, God if there is ONE person in the parking lot, then I will stop." See I'm pretty righteous, I didn't ask for 10 people, I knew that wasn't going to happen (just kidding... about the righteousness part). As I approached the parking lot, looking furtively around, I was relieved to find the parking lot free of anything human! So I walked on by, feeling ok for about 3 steps, then as the Holy Spirit began slowing my steps down. I finally gave up and sighing heavily turned around and went back to the church office. I approached the door, opened it, keeping Madi on the leash and said, "Uh, hi, uh, I think I'm suppose to, uh, ask you to pray for me." Well they welcomed me with open arms. It turns out they have a prayer room and they asked me to fill out a prayer sheet stating why I was in need of prayer and they would post it. I've already received one "prayergram" from someone praying for me.
When God asks us to do something that is hard, embarrassing, and/or difficult for us we never know what He is up too. I was blessed by this church and they even thanked ME for allowing them to pray for me. I have no idea what God wanted to happen with that interaction, or what He wants to do in me... but it is a privilege to be part of God's plan.
Keith found this quote in a book called, "Conversations Journal". It resonated with me and want to share it with you.
When suffering does not
destroy you, even though you
have been to the edge of the
abyss, you know something that
you cannot know in any other way.
Someone else is sustaining you.
You are indeed living by a life not
your own. Or as I love to say,
"Your life is not about you." It is
henceforth, most truly, about God.
And you are merely a "free sample"
of what God has always been
doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr
September 30, 2006
September 26, 2006
DateLog: 9/26/06: A new chapter
I just wanted to let you know that this coming Monday, October 2 I'll be entering a drug study at MD Anderson. The drug, called BCX17777-C-04-105. It is a single dose/day of Forodesine Hydrochloride. There has been some good success with drug, especially for Sezary Cell Syndrome patients. Here is the description BTWw, the coordinator said I tell you about this, but of course there will be things I won't be able to share since this is a drug study.) anyway, Forodesine hydrochloride is designed to block an enzyme in T-cells, causing them to die. T-cells being the malignant cell in CTCL is the only white blood cell that is affected. So far there have been no side affects, or so they tell me.
To prepare for this I'm off my 4 Targretin per day and no photopheresis. I have to say, I'm on day 20 and my feet that were looking so good, are getting real thick skin and very big splits! I'm hoping the new drug will kick in quick! I had forgotten all this split hands and feet stuff. Even though I was doing well on my Targretin and photopheresis, it was slow going as many of you know. My skin has gotten so dry and I'm flaking even though I still get to do my wet wraps (Triamcinolone cream all over my body, then wrapped in hot wrung out towels, then wrapped in trash bags, and blanket). I can only go about 8 hours a day w/out wanting to tear my skin off, or at least my clothes. So if you see me in my pj's out and about, the only thing that feels OK, just keep smiling. I'm not sure what the State dress code says about wearing your pjs to work!
I go to Houston for 4 days next week. Day one, I have my blood taken ~6 times: 1st draw, dose (meaning I take my pill), 1 hour later blood draw, then at 2, 4, 6, & 8 hours. Then the next 3 days, blood draw and then dose. Or maybe it's dose then blood draw ;). The coordinator wasn't sure. Builds lots of confidence ;)!
Anyway, I'll do my best to update my blog weekly, if not daily.
Ya'll pray that God will use this once a day pill to kill off all my T-Cells. I keep having visions from the movie Van Helsing, there is a part where Dracula's "children" are killed due to Van Helsing killing Dracula. Anyway, when they die, they explode into this green goo... and that's how I see my T-cells dying when the new drug enters my body!!!!
Because I'm off everything, I've got strep throat this weekend, and feel pretty miserable. I can barely walk because of the cuts on the bottom of my feet. The really sad thing? No matter what I do, they aren't healing. I'm soaking them, I'm wrapping them in Saran wrap, I'm covering them in antibiotics and steriod cream... AND the REALLY SAD THING.... I can't wear my high heels. WAAAAAA. I know you all feel for me.
To prepare for this I'm off my 4 Targretin per day and no photopheresis. I have to say, I'm on day 20 and my feet that were looking so good, are getting real thick skin and very big splits! I'm hoping the new drug will kick in quick! I had forgotten all this split hands and feet stuff. Even though I was doing well on my Targretin and photopheresis, it was slow going as many of you know. My skin has gotten so dry and I'm flaking even though I still get to do my wet wraps (Triamcinolone cream all over my body, then wrapped in hot wrung out towels, then wrapped in trash bags, and blanket). I can only go about 8 hours a day w/out wanting to tear my skin off, or at least my clothes. So if you see me in my pj's out and about, the only thing that feels OK, just keep smiling. I'm not sure what the State dress code says about wearing your pjs to work!
I go to Houston for 4 days next week. Day one, I have my blood taken ~6 times: 1st draw, dose (meaning I take my pill), 1 hour later blood draw, then at 2, 4, 6, & 8 hours. Then the next 3 days, blood draw and then dose. Or maybe it's dose then blood draw ;). The coordinator wasn't sure. Builds lots of confidence ;)!
Anyway, I'll do my best to update my blog weekly, if not daily.
Ya'll pray that God will use this once a day pill to kill off all my T-Cells. I keep having visions from the movie Van Helsing, there is a part where Dracula's "children" are killed due to Van Helsing killing Dracula. Anyway, when they die, they explode into this green goo... and that's how I see my T-cells dying when the new drug enters my body!!!!
Because I'm off everything, I've got strep throat this weekend, and feel pretty miserable. I can barely walk because of the cuts on the bottom of my feet. The really sad thing? No matter what I do, they aren't healing. I'm soaking them, I'm wrapping them in Saran wrap, I'm covering them in antibiotics and steriod cream... AND the REALLY SAD THING.... I can't wear my high heels. WAAAAAA. I know you all feel for me.
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