When suffering does not destroy you, even though you have been to the edge of the abyss, you know something that you cannot know in any other way. Someone else is sustaining you. You are indeed living by a life not your own. Or as I love to say, "Your life is not about you." It is henceforth, most truly, about God. And you are merely "free sample" of what God has always been doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr

November 27, 2006

Date Log: 11/27/06: Good News & so-so News

Yea! Dr. Duvic was happy w/my obvious improvement of my skin. The bumps/pebbles/sugar pops are less. I'm whiter... and this white woman can dance!

However, I don't know what my numbers are... the numbers that really tell how the cancer is or isn't. I did a blood draw (well really about 8 vials) to see what my numbers will be... the cd4/cd8 & sezary cell count. When I go back on 12/11 I'll know if the BCX1777 is affecting the bad T-cells too. I had one small lymph node, the others are still insignificant. Which means this drug must be working.

These tests can really tell the story of where my cancer is, BECAUSE I can't. Why do I say this? Because I'm running a 100 degree fever, which is really high for me and my throat is spotted with puss and my b/p was 192/92. Now when I had my B/P taken at work the other day it was 120/78. White coat syndrome? Who knows.

But back to me being sick. This is not good because this is what will put you in the hospital. So even though my skin is looking better I'm still very auto immuned compromised. So I'm back on antibiotics which makes me more immune compromised which ... well you get the idea.

so good news and bad news. Pray that I will find a way to build up my immune system ... a way that won't cost me money having to go to a herbalist and spending lots of money on herbs. It always seems it costs money to be healthy naturally. Ok, I don't think I'm making much sense but thanks for listening to me.

November 23, 2006

Oh I forgot 2 things - A God Moment

See my note on Thrush. When I went to the drs. after the weekend when my thrush was healed...I stuck my tongue out at Dr. Vu and she said "Your thrush is gone. Wow that medicine works good." I told her I had used it ONE time. Funny thing is that Bill Johnson had a "word" about the "inside" of the mouth. My lips still have thrush! So I've been using the medicine!

On Saturday night when I went to the meeting, my neck was killing me from my accident (see on my way to Houston). It hadn't hurt like this at all. So I got prayed for. When I went to see my Chiropractor on Tuesday and he was adjusting me I asked, "So how does my neck and back feel?" He gave me thumbs up and I said, "So does my neck and back and feel like it did before my accident?" He said, "Yea, it does!" Another touched body. Wish this stupid old MF/Sezary cell would respond as quickly.

Ok, this Texas girl is off to make Northern turkey dressing that only she will eat. But the family (my in-laws) will say several times thru the meal, "Its good Renee, it's just like eating dessert though." I put raisins and pecans in my white bread dressing! What can I say? My mom grew up in Detroit and my dad, though born and raised in Texas, had good taste buds. I must say my mother-in-law does make the only and best cornbread dressing I've ever eaten. Not that I've eaten a lot, I try and avoid it... you know Luby's dressing with the yellow gravy with eggs in it? EWWWWWWW weeee, can't abide by that. Ok, now I'll ask forgiveness of all of you eat that stuff!

Date Log: 11/23/06... Wow a month from my last update

Ok, what has happened this last month.

1. I was seeing some real clearing on my feet. But that has seem to gone away.
2. Good news: My lymph nodes have gone down or are gone completely.
3. Bad news? My blood work doesn't show much improvement. May know better this coming Monday (the 27th)
4. I've got pebbly skin. Yes, my thighs are thick and look like they have sugar pops, my rendition, or pebbles, Dr. D's rendition, stuck under my skin. This makes it difficult to sit and squat... which since I've moved my office this last week, I'll be squatting a lot to put all my books in place, etc. Dr. D suggested we wait 4 weeks to see how the "pebble" situation plays out. She thinks it's an reaction to being OFF the Targretin! Weird, huh?
5. I'm feeling a lot of stress. It's effecting my memory. Not sure if it's the meds, or just that there are circumstances that are playing into this affect. At least I don't feel depressed on this drug. Which is one reason why I will fight to stay on it,
6. I am seeing real skin, cleared skin on my arms.
7. My internal temperature seems to have gone whacko again. But then again it might be that it is the low 70's in Austin, cold for me, but not cold enough for "real" people to turn on the heat.
8. I do seem to be itching more, but then again it comes an goes. For instance today I woke up and my arms were itching very badly. I took my Gabapentin and Atarax and I'm beginning to calm down.
9. Because of the cold, no moisture in the air, I've been taking that combo. That may be adding to my spaciness.
10. I'm probably not putting lotion on enough times during the day. But it just feel awful. Cold, wet, and makes me itch until it dries.
11. My feet/ankles are very swollen this week, but I attribute that to the fact that I moved offices and was on my feet about 8 hours a day this week.
12. I still can not stand to be in clothes for more than 8 hours. 100% polyester (or silk when I can afford it) pjs are the only thing that feel comfortable.
13. I wore my nice pj bottoms to work on Monday and Tuesday (though Tuesday's pj weren't 100% polyester and I could tell at the end of the day.) That seemed to help a lot. I need to find other pjs that don't look so "pjish".
14. The cuts on my feet had almost cleared but today I have several cuts... wonder if its from being on my feet on all week with the moving? Makes sense.
15. The first week of November I slept HORRIBLY! Made my hours at work suffer. Or it might have been the 2nd week. But that has ended, thank you JESUS! Wonder if it might be related to menopause/period stuff? Need to keep an eye on that. And, sorry, I guess that is more information than you needed to know, right?

I'll let you all know what Dr. Duvic says on Monday.