When suffering does not destroy you, even though you have been to the edge of the abyss, you know something that you cannot know in any other way. Someone else is sustaining you. You are indeed living by a life not your own. Or as I love to say, "Your life is not about you." It is henceforth, most truly, about God. And you are merely "free sample" of what God has always been doing. - Quote from Richard Rohr

April 27, 2005

The Beginning... suspicions of Cancer (and some background)

Backgound: Diagnosed w/Psorasis in September 2003. Oral medication seemed to help. As my skin got better itching increased. Began light treatments in Nov. 2004. All that happened w/that was I got really dark. Strangers in the grocery store would jealously ask, "where did you get that tan??" We also began every test we could think of... all my blood tests came back normal. Who knew there was a special blood panel just for MF?? Then I noticed I was losing about 2lbs every 4 days. Now this was good news! But scary.

Had a biopsy by my Dermetologist in March. Results: little psorasisis and photo dermetitis. (When my derm had the pathologist recheck after my diagnosis, he changed the diagnosis but wrote [perhaps to cover his you-know-what??], These findings are consistent w/those of CTCL lymphoma. This case is somewhat unusual in that there is a rather significant componment of spongiosis which is uncommon for cutaneous T-cell lymphoma. That's me: uncommon

I noticed a large lymph node in my thigh. When I mentioned this to about the 100th doctor I had been seeing my primary finally said you need to go see this surgeon. I met with Dr. Marcus and he and I both agreed that it was only a symptom of me scratching so much. He wasn't worried at all and scheduled my surgery in two weeks. Which really surprised the scheduler. She kept saying are you sure? I was like, oh it's no big deal. After all my blood tests kept coming back normal.

Finally, had appt. w/Dan, my primary doctor, this morning. Assured me he's doing everything possible. Worried about cancer. Having CAT Scan tomorrow in stomach and pelvis. Said don't worry if they see any shadows may not mean anything. I have tinneatis (sp??) in BOTH ears. My left one was totally blocked all weekend and couldn't chew at all. Because of the ear infection I rescheduled the surgery to have my lymph node removed. Now it will be on May 10th. Yea, 4 days before my fifth birthday. Happy Birthday to me! But on to the cat scan.

The cat scan came back positive. On April 28th the cat scan report noted 5 large lymph nodes. The largest being 3.3 x 2 and the smallest 2.3 x 1.1. Also included in the report was the comment about multiple other smaller lymph nodes.

Impression: Lymphadenopathy within both inguinal regions. Pattern worrisome for lymphoma.